Tell us what you think -FF, Poems, RPGs-!

**SeverusSnape** · Geplaatst: Di Jun 29, 2004 12:24

Tell us your experiences with the stories/RPGs posted in this board.

Please add in each message:

1. author story:
2. title of story:
3. your opinion + arguments:

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Name RPG:
Favourite scene:
Favourite character:
Other comments:

May I remember each of you that this topic is NOT for correcting each others language!

- Dutch-English dictionary
- English-Dutch dictionary

**Vivica** · Ravenklauw Klassenoudste Verdiend: 0 Sikkels

Author: hp_marije666
title: Oh, mighty Marauders
my opinion: I like the story although you've to pay attention because of the time switches. I would like to read the next parts

Poison Ivy · Geplaatst: Di Jun 29, 2004 13:49

Author: HP_Marije666
Title: Oh, Mighty Marauders
Opinion: I think it's a great story, good storyline..
I can't wait till you post your next chapter ^^

Both Sirius and James started to make painful faces, as a sign that they were thinking. Lily just stood there… watching the two of them. She didn’t want to interrupt them while they were ‘bizzy’. Well, they weren’t really bizzy, they were pretending to be.

I don't know if you mean 'Busy' by 'Bizzy' but if you do, you spelled it wrong Wink

don't take this wrong, i just wanted to help you

Fenix · Dreuzel Verdiend: 45 Sikkels Woonplaats: Rotterdam

Author:HP_Marije666

Title of story:Oh, Mighty Marauders

Opinion:I think it is a very good story beacause she lets the persons react
the way JK would, and its also realistic because this really could have happend.
I can't wait until you finished the next chapter.

Creative · Geplaatst: Di Jun 29, 2004 15:23

1. Pottermania
2. Hermione and the stone?
3.I think the idea is good, but the typing's not great. It's not easy to read when the centences aren't right. Maybe someone could check your spelling before you post? It's only an idea, I'm not saying my English writing is very good, but it's a tip Wink

Good luck!
Love
Creative

Poison Ivy · Geplaatst: Di Jun 29, 2004 15:23

Author: pottermania

Title: Hermione and the stone?

Opinion: Maybe you should find a beta-reader.
Like you said it yourself, your English isn't very good and the sentence structere isn't what it's supposed to be.

Sallygoo · Beginnend Tovenaar Verdiend: 46 Sikkels

Author: pottermania

Title: Hermione and the stone?

Opinion:
I agree with the people above. The idea of a diary isn't bad, but your english isn't good. I know you're only 12 and all, but the idea of letting someone check your story is a good one!

Gast Verdiend: 3 Sikkels

Author: pottermania

Title: Hermione and the stone?

Opinion:

The idea of writing a Diary, is quite good.
But, like Sallygoo said, you could use a beta-reader.

eVoLi · Geplaatst: Di Jun 29, 2004 16:50

author : pottermania
title of the story : Hermoine and the stone
opinion : the idea is quite original, and the events are original too, the words are better, but you can't find the grammar (verbs etc.) in the dictionnary. Someone has to explain the conjugation of the verbs, the use of different times etc.

Asha · Geplaatst: Di Jun 29, 2004 19:18

Author: Hp_Marije666
Title: Oh, Mighty Marauders
Opinio: I liked your story. Like Fenix said; The reactions of the charcters are very a like the original characters. I think your story is original and I have no problems to follow it up, despite the time switchings. I would like to read more of the Mighty Marauders.

**BeeGee Kenobi** · The Lost Mod Verdiend: 0 Sikkels Woonplaats: Birmingham

Author: Mrs Jessica Black
Title: A Marauders Story; Water
Opinion: I liked it very much...It's great to read a small story from an author who knows the characters by heart...Keep up the good work girl!! I love it!!
Your English is also very easy to read...very good!!!

Poison Ivy · Geplaatst: Wo Jun 30, 2004 14:30

Author: DDEVIL
Title: Can't remember it anymore Embarassed

Opinion:

Citaat:

I don't wanna let you leave
can't say I didn't let you breath

That looks a bit like the song 'I don't wanna know' from Mario Winans, P.Diddy and Enya, you know the part when Diddy sings/raps
I think you ripped it..

[Edit] I see that you removed that part because Imaginary said something about it.. Rolling Eyes

Prof. Albus Dumbledore · Geplaatst: Wo Jun 30, 2004 15:55

Author: hp_marije666
title: Oh, mighty Marauders
my opinion: I like the story, its realy good!

Could you edit your message and give your agruments please! gr. SS

I' dont now wy... that's my feeling.

D-DEVIL · 4e jaars Verdiend: 45 Sikkels Woonplaats: Thuis? =)

Poison Ivy schreef:

Author: DDEVIL
Title: Can't remember it anymore Embarassed

Opinion:

Citaat:

I don't wanna let you leave
can't say I didn't let you breath

That looks a bit like the song 'I don't wanna know' from Mario Winans, P.Diddy and Enya, you know the part when Diddy sings/raps
I think you ripped it..

[Edit] I see that you removed that part because Imaginary said something about it.. Rolling Eyes

yeah I removed it.....I heard it from somebody else so i thought i could use it....sow i removed it en made up my mind for another songtxt....and you see the results Razz

The Snitch · Geplaatst: Vr Jul 02, 2004 10:12

Author: hp_marije666
Title: Oh, Mighty
Opinion: I like your story! I hope there comes more! I like the way the characters act, the way they do. You must go on! And quick!