Poems

nirphania · Geplaatst: Za Jun 21, 2008 12:43

Wow so many poems since the last time i visited, so i'm sorry i'm not gonna comment them all.
@ COTOS i like the first poem a lot becouse of the questions, the second one I find quite hard to understand, mabey I take it to litterly.
But stil great rithim.

Well onoe of mine

Legend of the loch

It’s a story from a forgotten time
People still sing the song in rhyme
It tells from a forgotten battle
The sounds of a death rattle

he’ll take the high road
I’ll take the low road

He will never meet her again
And she will wait near the Ben
That’s the story and how it ends
And he will never meet her or her friend’s

Its about an old song from scotland called: Loch Lomond. I really like the song.

Loesewies Boterslag · Geplaatst: Di Jun 24, 2008 8:37

I'm to lazy to comment today (summervacation xDxDxD), but I promise I will soon!!!!

This morning I woke up from a very vivid dream, with one sentence echoing in my head: "Don't let me go into the forest, 'cause in the forest I'll win". I wrote the sentence down, and half an hour later, I had written a song! Here it is:

Battle of the century

[verse 1]
Tripping over castles
Slipping out of sight
Please don’t interfere
‘Cause this is my fight

Stop dancing in the moonlight
Stop kissing the rain
Don’t worry ‘bout the tears
No, don’t worry ‘bout the pain

[chorus]
Ignoring time in the battle of the century
(I know, I know)
Trying to survive in the battle of the century

[verse 2]
Now screw off that smile
And open your mouth
Stop ignoring our battle
And give it a sound

Addicted to depression
Affected by the light
Convicted by the Big Man
Constructed by the night

[chorus]
Ignoring time in the battle of the century
(I know, I know)
Trying to survive in the battle of the century

[verse 3]
I’m running ‘round in circles
To figure out this game
But I don’t think you’ve noticed
To you it’s all the same

Trying to repair
All the mirrors I have broken
Trying to be fair
To the people I have woken

[bridge]
And I don’t see why we couldn’t try again
(No I don’t see why)
Don’t let me in the forest, or I’ll win
(No I don’t see why)

No I don’t see why

[chorus]
Ignoring time in the battle of the century
(I know, I know)
Trying to survive in the battle of the century
(I’ll show, I’ll show)
Ignoring time in the battle of the century
(Front row, front row)
Trying to survive in the battle of the century
(Don’t let me go)

No I don't see why

Love, Loesje

Sweet Hermione · Geplaatst: Do Jun 26, 2008 14:35

@ Marlie: I love both poems. You're so... so... good. xD
1. Broken dreams and teddy bears / Giving comfort in the night / Our elders forsake their duties / To spend some time in fight Ouch, that's heavy. 2. This one is too complicated for me, I don't really understand it...
@ nirphania (wb!): he’ll take the high road / I’ll take the low road I like that. Though I still have the feeling that the poem isn't done yet... strange.
@ Loesje: Oh yès, I like this! It's so difficult to make a song and you did it! =D I like it. Sorry, no details, I just like it.

This poem is about being in control and again - love.
It's a though situation I describe - she's in control, she holds the key. But what should she do?

Clarity

I wished to see you handpalms
sweaty, though I know they won’t
be

You keep your eyes clean in
the skineffects of
irony

The slowdown was a pride
you made, it’s everything I
see

You give me space, so please send
some molecules to keep me
busy

(You built a river, without a clue
I’ll stream and seek for
you)

Don’t bother me with myths of
months, you reservated love for
me

It’s killing time in destiny
I’m curling while you stroke my
knee

The silent struggle
makes you fitt

She holds the key

child of the other side · Geplaatst: Do Jun 26, 2008 18:04

@Nirphania; I really like the title. I do not know the song but I will google it. (: I agree with SH, he'll take the high road, I'll take the low road is the best sentence. I really love how it's formulated.
@Loesewies Boterslag; Writing lyrics sucks big time. I've tried several times but up till now I have no success. I like the sentence your poem is based upon. I don't know if I wanted to know what you dreamt about, but the line is great. XD The song worked out pretty well, though I think the verses could have been a little longer (the lines.)
@SH; Explain the title, please! I'm curious. ^^ I like how the poem ends, it's a very strong line. I also like the You built a river ... stanza. It's pretty.

I kind of of dislike my recent poems though I don't know why. They just seem less than my previous ones. And they also seem to have the same subjects. :// Nm. XD Just read and comment.
The first poem is -finally- a sort of nature poem. It's actually a combination of nature and human nature, so that's good. I think.
The second one was more a challenge for myself (to find as much words that rhyme as possible) than a message poem. I think it has some hidden meanings though I'm still trying to figure out most of them. :”)

We all bleed a little

It has been quite a strain
To walk, aghast by rain
Storms and deep sorrow.
There is not a fear I want to borrow
Except the restrain to go on.

There will always be someone better
To talk to, when the weather
Cries grains into the sand.
And far away, in the unknown land
The hammer of today goes on.

The empty world will sing bright
Of revival, inside the sight
Of her own destruction.
For the final blow is an eruption
Of human nature ever go on.

A moment’s truth

It is a brand new thing
A whisper across velvet skin
I know you do know too
About what we have akin
For a day

The last train closes in
The brakes scraping on tin
You loved the way we looked
When we were slightly too thin
For a day

The vines shaped into a swing
A swine of porcupine green fin
The laugh was laughed venomously
As I used to love our sling
For a day

It is a long forgotten thing
A burning feeling from within
I know you do know too
About what I thought of our sin
For a day

Loesewies Boterslag · Geplaatst: Za Jun 28, 2008 21:29

OMG, I had almost finished my enormously big comment on all the beautiful poems here, crashes my computer. %^#^$&*#!!! I don't really feel like doing it all over again, so I'll do it later (I PROMISE!!!)

Meanwhile, I wrote a new poem. I wrote it after seeing the movie "Fight Club" (must-see!!!!).
So, here it is:

Death rattle

I am my own grinding teeth
I know ignorance is not a sin
(it's not a virtue either)

I am your shocked, round eyes
Spice up your lifeless life
(though I think that's enough zest for now)

I am my own broken soul
Trying to keep both my feet on the ground
(if only the ground were a little higher)

Love, Loesje

Sweet Hermione · Geplaatst: Di Jul 15, 2008 23:53

@ Marlie: ''Clarity'' - like ''clear visions''. And thanks for your comment, dear. I miss you - come back to me! You go on too many vacations! ^^
1. Hm.. not totally satisfied with this poem.. it's not as mysterious as you are, most of the time. But I have to say it's like the first time I understand about all the words. xD But... I'm extremely happy with your ''There will always be someone better / To talk to, when the weather / Cries grains into the sand.'' That's not only wise, it's also true.
2. Not sure what to think about it... I don't get the ending, sorry. I think I like your title, though.
Hm.. oh sorry I'm not as enthou as usual this time, they''re all just a bit anders.
@ Loes: I like it. I adore the title, I like the ending. Good words and... a kinda complicated and simple in one.

We need new poems! We really do! ^^
So I found an old poem. It's written about four months ago.
It's about desire. I have no idea why I didn't make the last line rhyme, but I refuse to change anything because I made it such a long time ago. It was written very fast and I think I didn't changed anything in the first place as well. So... special. I hope you like it. I think I kind of do.

Big, hungry eyes
(but not as much as I)
can be overwhelming you

It’s almost as funny
as the hidden clue
this guy wasn’t moving
through

Their hands were dry
as they surround you
on love, in sadness

like I do

A day like this was not as much
as despair running through my tights
The lights went out and I will overcome
the dreams in fever that I watch

I’m giving some, and more, something
keeps me heartbound like stone
My throne was still so bright but you
stopped feeding me for being out of sight

My whole world stopped but there I spin
no bottles but a galaxy chase
I have no words here left within
I’m terrified to love you

Loesewies Boterslag · Geplaatst: Ma Jul 28, 2008 12:36

I'm in an internetcafe right now, and I'm just warned that I have less than 5 minutes remaining, so I'm not going to comment this time..sorry.

I have some new poems!! Hope you like them:

(No title)

I have to touch all the walls I pass
I think it has got to do with feeling locked up
No face, no return
never mind.

I have to touch all the walls I pass
It's probably because of all the lives I've led
New morning, new name
no use.

I have to touch all the walls I pass
It might be some sort of compulsion
No right, no control
next in line.

I have to touch all the walls I pass
I don't know why.

(Again, no title)

You can't read
try not to be too blunt
I bruise easily

She can't speak
there are no shortcuts
I found out the hard way

I can't write

(Surprise, no title)

Let's go down
Down to the fields of no tomorrow
We'll laugh and live and
like no one ever did before

Let's go up
Up to the hills of forever more
To dance and to sing and to
till everything around us has dissolved

Let's just go
I'll kiss the living daylight out of you

(Three guesses...no title)

I'm sleeping in the clouds
are you still trying to understand
it's no use, you see

Freefall for the rest of my life
crushing the wind
trying to defeat tomorrow

You left me with just your word
trusting you feels like trusting the snake in my hands
could you please hand me my clothes

I think I'm done for now.

Love, Roos.

Ailey · 17.04.05 ~ 31.12.08

Loes: About Death Rattle: Very beautiful, love it!
Plot: About your desire poem: perfect, it's amazing, really, very deep and it's just very beautiful, i can't express in words what i feel but i really love it.
Loes: No title ones: I really love them, they are amazing, what inspires you to write these poems? Because it looks to me like there are a lot of 'hidden feelings' in there? (if you understand what i mean with that? ^^")

I wrote this poem in a couple of days, mostly very very late in the evening. It's mainly about friends i've lost. I hope you like it. It's not having a real title yet, but here i did use a title, but i'm not sure if this is going to be the real title.

Still I feel regret

We promised to be
friends we would stay
we were childs, but
still I feel regret

You’re decisions were too loud to
make sound for me
it’s rush now, but
your speed slowed for me

I’ve made my mistakes but
your thoughts were too outspoken
to be said in public
we were like adrenalin, too fast
for our fragile floor

All I could see, us being darkblue
under water, bruised
your little whispers looking through
my lonely heart, damaging

Voices turn the curtains down
separation broke us, you struggled
closer to her, but
still I feel regret.

Sweet Hermione · Geplaatst: Wo Jul 30, 2008 0:07

@ Ailey: Wow, girl, I'm impressed. It's beautiful. We all lose friends, everyone can relate to this. You should make poems all the time, honey!
Thanks for your comment. I'm sure I was very emotional and fast when I wrote it, since I found no scratches at all and I scratch ALL the time when I write. ^^
@ Loes: 1. I think I can relate to it, I also like to touch walls. Though I think with this person, it's something beyond control? I like it, in some way. 2. Inspired on ''I Bruise Easily'' by Natasha Bedingfield? Please let me know what this one is about, it's so deep and cryptic and I adore it, lemme know. I really like the last line... oh this is such a good poem.
3. Oh, the last lines, the last lines... I love this again, you're so good... 4. Again - I love it, I love it, I love it. I think it's about a one-night stand, is that correct? I like the third stanza, it's fragile and honest and nasty at the same time.
Oh, and please let me know what ALL THE POEMS are about, I'm craving for it.

New poems surely will come. I've got a lot of inspiration.

child of the other side · Geplaatst: Zo Aug 03, 2008 15:04

Weeeh, me ist back. Beware. XD I'm awfully tired so no comments today. (Bad excuse, teehee, I know.)
Whatever, I've written this poem during my backpack holiday while lying on an uncomfortable youth hostel bed so don’t be too hard on me.
But I quite like it, it's certainly better than my previous ones.

Naïveté

She had coals in her eyes
Though the smoldering was gone
Here she stood outside, dreams forgotten
Eyes nickering from waiting too long

The grass grew brisk
Underneath another one’s feet
Many waters fell,
I think someone forgot the risk
Of youth’s passing heath

She used to have it all
A star strangled in her grip
But time stopped passing, lovebirds fell
To descend upon a drowning ship

Sweet Hermione · Geplaatst: Ma Aug 04, 2008 0:27

@ Marlie: Oh gosh, I made poem called ''Naïvity''. oO' This poem is so different than your others! I start to understand what you actually write, so I feel quite clever now. I like it, as I always do.

A poem I made a week ago. It's about the intense loneliness at nights, but also knowing it's just a fantasy and it's not real. 'Cause you're just looking for tension and attention, it's not real loneliness. That's why I wrote: ''my pulse made it unfair afternoon''. It's always nasty when it's noon or morning and you realise that once again, you let your mind play with you.
I used a lot of music and personal memories in this poem 'cause yes, it's based on real stuff, like usual.

Sorry

The nighting room shows a door
in which I'm left

Hot thirsty air pronounces I lost
my cloth, again

Where the loneliness forms mirrors
of tin and silent tunes

I bend my back and look
how you're gliding dusty roads

You're not here, where you belong
to suck out all my rest

To apoligize for accidental hands
or umbrelles you threw

(Belong to worlds as you carry your
heart, how hundred, how gold)

This night repeats through fingers
when you sleep old-fashioned mannered

The knock will not show until it hits
I crave delicate forces low

You'll never breath beside me
how hungry I'll demand and fail

But when the dawn will eat the moon
and I dress in sorry feet

I walk the pole in heath and know
my pulse made it unfair afternoon

The comet knocks my brains
no need to repeat once more

The thud proclames
It's real

child of the other side · Geplaatst: Ma Aug 04, 2008 18:43

@ Ailey; It's very sad, but losing friends always is. I think it's a very good poem about the subject, especially the end, it's very touching and beautifully formed. (:
@ Plottie; I find it hard to understand as a whole something, some parts I do understand, some I can only guess. But hey, that's poetry. But you are the abstracted one for sure! Anyway, I like the poem, the first few stanzas more than the rest. And I like the title (I'm into simple titles lately.)

Just written this afternoon, based upon what I know of the book "Brave new world" and my own ideas about a future where everyone is the same.

Vanished thoughts

We stood in line, straight and right
My neighbour was my reflection
My wife, if possible a fright
For a look so divine, could be found next door
With just a little less affection

A dog barked down, at the streets
At night, or otherwise at day
I don’t understand what time reads
But I know nothing for sure anymore, you know?
Only the pills that bring dismay

The wife comes in, to enter, knocking
Like a programme on the screen
I guess one episode less is shocking
For we were used to look, to follow through
Everything we have ever seen

Loesewies Boterslag · Geplaatst: Di Aug 12, 2008 12:15

I feel like commenting today, so prepare yourselves, 'cause this is gonna be long... xD

@ Sweet Hermione: (about 12:00) A very emotional one. The short stanzas make the poem seem very eeh... naked..I think that's the best word I can find to describe this poem. I think the person in this poem is hurting, because she hurt someone else..is this true? It's very good, very well done.
@ Cotos: (about Roof-topped houses) Very confronting, filled with anger. The sentences are so powerful, it made me feel sad. Also, I think the title is indeed v. v. good!
(about Crime watch) Again, very sad. This poem made me forget to breath, for it has something v. special. I recognise the situation of the poem, which is not that special an sich, but what is special, is that this poem describes exactly how I felt, being in that situation.. (I know it's not very well put, but it's true!). I can relate to this so much, it's scary. Kudos!
@ nirphania: (about Legend of the loch) I think it's a good story, but it feels like the poem isn't finished. It's like you wrote the beginning and the end, but forgot to write the middle part. I do like the "high road, low road" bit.
@ Sweet Hermione: (about Clarity) Great subtle rhyming in this one, very well put. I love how your poems are abstract, but not hard to understand. Kudos to this one!
@ Cotos: (about We all bleed a little) Don't dislike them! I absolutely adore this one. Somehow, the sentences about rain really appealed to me. It's like nature is crying for the ongoing destruction-and-resurrection-circle of the human being. V. good!
(about A moment's truth) A difficult one. To me, it's about a very intense love, torn apart. The person in the poem is reflecting on the happy days of being together. Hmmm..don't know what else to say about this one. Oh, I love the rhythm of the poem, it flows so easily.
@ Sweet Hermione: (about the old poem without a title): I can feel the anxiety in this poem. Very well written!
@ Ailey: (about Still I feel regret) First of all, beautiful title! The poem is also very beautiful, so sad and to-the-point. I love the fourth stanza, "us being darkblue".. there's something about that part.
@ Cotos: (about Naïveté) This one is a little different from your previous poems. Less abstract, a little clearer. I like it, and I love the title.
@ Sweet Hermione: (about Sorry) I love the subject, very recognisable. The vocabulary in this one is great, though the sentences are a little hard to follow sometimes. Nevertheless, a good poem.
@ Cotos: (about Vanished thoughts) This one is a little weird. I don't know if I understand this one. Hmmm...I might get back to this one.

Oh right, @ Ailey: you asked me what inspires me to write my poems. Answer: everything. An event, something I see on the news, a book, a movie, a sentence I hear. Anything could inspire me to write a poem.

And @ Sweet Hermione: the wall-touching poem is about trying to find anwsers for everything, while some things are better not to understand. The "I can't write"-poem is about surviving the hard times I had in my live. The "Let's just go"-poem is a sweet cliché-poem about young love. The last poem is about being in a relationship which is consuming you, till you've reached a point of complete exhaustion.

And finally, some new poems:

Blue eyes crushing daylight
warm, cold
what's the difference?

I tried to warm your frozen hands with my last breaths
it didn't work
do you reckon it won't work for your heart either?

Oh, what the hell
warm, cold
there's no difference
as long as you keep smiling

don't you ever stop smiling

Kerewin

I've tried to write this poem
but every word I wrote turned into water
glided down the page
and dripped onto the floor

I had never seen my book cry before.

Love, Roos.

Loesewies Boterslag · Geplaatst: Za Sep 20, 2008 19:58

39 days after my last post, and no new poems...
I'll just post one again, then:

The dancefloor is floating

I'm breathing fire
shoot your golden arrow in my chest
or the tear in my dress
I'm breathing sex
the colors of alcohol, dance
and living

I inhale deeply
while my torn dress falls
on the ground

Inspired by "SexyBack", by Justin Timberlake ft. Timbaland.

Loesewies Boterslag · Geplaatst: Wo Sep 24, 2008 12:15

Am I seriously the only one still writing?? Sad

Koyaanisqatsi

The butterfly flew
or fell, I don't remember
yesterday and today
equals tomorrow

The edge is near
one foot, one step
the risk is all I see
all I want

Living in chaos
trust the butterfly
it'll lead the way
to reality

Inspired by "Koyaanisqatsi", a piece of art by Philip Glass and Ron Fricke.