Supernova [One shot] FINISHED

Mrs Jessica Black · Geplaatst: Wo Aug 22, 2007 15:33

Hello,

Writing this gave myself some peace on the matter. It came with a lot of emotions. I hope it'll move you as much as it moved me.
I've waited a long time to use this name for a story or drawing. 4 years in total to be precise. When I finished this, I knew this was it.

~ Supernova ~

Supernova; the extraordinary appearance of an immense flash of intense light by the implosion and thus called ‘death of a star’.

The flash of red light and the screams and yells died. He was falling.
Falling through what felt like liquid air.
Around him was nothing but impenetrable darkness. A cold indescribable.
And as he inhaled, the freezing air seemed to seep through his lungs, infiltrating his whole body.
It swallowed him whole and as he exhaled again he totally dissolved into nothingness.

Silence

He opened his eyes.
The light startled him and he quickly closed his eyes again. Still not exactly sure what to do, he tried to open his eyes again. As he did it slowly, his eyes grew accustomed to the light.
He was breathing slowly, stared up for a bit. At least, he thought it was up, as he had the vague feeling he was laying on his back. As his eyes got used to the light, treetops came into view, growing greener and greener as if sprouting wherever his eyes went.
He slowly sat up, grass growing under his supporting hands. The dew on it made a mild shiver run over his body. As he realised he was naked and felt rather exposed, threads started twisting around him, melting together into trousers and a shirt. The clothes looked vaguely familiar as he ran his fingers over the fabric, startled by what just happened. Shaking off the weirdness of the situation, he looked around. Doing so, a garden materialised around him wherever he rested his eyes.
He lifted himself up, standing up straight. The dew that wetted his hand palms and clothes seemed to dry instantly. If this wasn’t weird enough, the garden surrounding him… it was…
“Padfoot.”
He turned on the spot. That voice…
He faced the rear of a house. The backdoor stood ajar and in it stood-
“James?... Lily…” he croaked, his heart skipping a beat.
The young man wearing glasses smiled peacefully at him.
“Long hair looks good on you.”
Sirius looked from James to Lily and back.
“Insanity’s finally kicking in, isn’t it…?” he said, more to himself than the hallucination of his diseased friends.
“Is it?” James replied. “Take a look around, Sirius. I’m sure you recognise where we are…”
Sirius didn’t need to look around again. Even though it had been seventeen years that he had last been there, he had recognised the Potter’s garden right away.
“But how?...” Sirius replied, feeling stupid for doing so.
“Do you remember that day in this garden? You had left your home only days before and we spend our time lying in the grass.” James took a step forward.
Sirius nodded. He remembered it as if it was yesterday, even though he hadn’t thought about it for a long time. He might have blocked it, like so many other memories that had come paired with pain and regret, too unbearable since his friends had been murdered.
“That day we made each other a promise…” James went on. “We promised each other that we would stick together for always. And that we would protect each other till the end of days. We made a vow that we would go through every laugh and tear together. Until eternity…”
An invisible hand tightened around Sirius’ throat.
James lay a hand on Sirius’ shoulder.
“That’s why I’m here. Because I promised you I would.”
Then, for the first time in fourteen years, something inside Sirius snapped and a tear rolled over his cheek. His shaking finger reached for the tear and caught it. He looked at it in disbelieve. Then he looked at James. Then to Lily, who had joined them, and back to James. Another tear.
“I am so sorry for what I did to you-” he said in a shaky whisper, looking James into his hazel eyes.
“I’m so sorry!” he said again, now with more force.
More tears.
“Everything you did,” James said soothingly, “was to protect us. You could not have known Peter was on the wrong side, Sirius.”
“I shouldn’t have trusted him…” Sirius replied, his voice shaking.
“That’s what friends do, Sirius. And you’re mighty good at that. We never blamed you. Ever. It was Peter’s flaw and his alone. You were willing to do anything to protect us and we are grateful for that. Thank you. Thank you for what you did for us.”
A silence followed.
Sirius looked down at his shaking hands. Then looked around again.
“So this is it, then… I’m dead, right?” Sirius said softly, voice still shaking.
“That’s for you to decide. The Unspeakables can get you out. If you want them to…” James replied calmly.
Sirius looked at the backdoor of the house, now realising where it would lead him.
“Just like that, eh? I fought alongside two wars, survived and escaped Azkaban and end up being killed by a ruddy curtain.”
“Sirius, you were in the middle of an Order fight, fighting for the good, protecting our son. I can not imagine it to happen to you otherwise.” James said.
“But then at least a bit of a battle-” Sirius started.
Now it was Lily who spoke.
“It would have killed Harry if he knew you would have met your end in pain.”
Her voice came to Sirius as a wave of comfort and longing. A longing for rest.
“He wanted to go after you, you know…” Lily said gently, looking Sirius in the eyes. “He really loves you. We made the right decision in choosing you as Harry’s godfather. You gave him what he needed. Thank you for looking after my son, Sirius.”
“I wished I could have been there for him all his life.” Sirius replied silently, “I feel much for making it up to him.”
“You can still choose, Sirius. But whatever you choose, know that he will get the guidance he needs. People will always be there to help Harry.” James replied. “We really appreciate all that you’ve done for our son. I believe you’ve done your part.”
Lily slowly nodded her head.
“You’re still young, but you’ve been through so much. You deserve rest.” she said, her beautiful eyes still resting on Sirius.
“It’s been enough…” James said softly, bearing a kind of pity in his eyes.
Sirius didn’t reply for a long time. ‘It’s been enough…’
The words kept repeating in his head as flashbacks of his childhood infiltrated the peace he had felt. Flashbacks of his youth, the rejection, the neglection, the pain and the doubt. Then, flashes of James’ and Lily’s destroyed house, Peter cowering into a dodgy lane’s corner, a flash of light, a bang, screams. Then the eerie silence of Azkaban. The stench, the cold, the misery, the endless memories tormenting him. The sanity that made those years so unbearable he wished he had died alongside his friends. James…
Sirius closed his eyes. Another tear rolled down.
The biggest pain of all had been accepting his friends were gone. The realisation he had to say goodbye. If he would choose to go back… would his heavy heart bare to say goodbye to them a second time?...
And still… if he could really choose, he’d go through another life of misery if only to stick to Harry till the end. But did he really have a choice? If the Unspeakables would get him out, what chances would he have? He would be the first on the list for a Dementor’s Kiss. And without a soul or ability to die… What use would he be to Harry? A choice… Had he really?
He slowly opened his eyes again. James and Lily were still standing patiently before him, more solid than ever.
He sighed slowly. Then, after a silence that could have been minutes or days, he gave a little nod.
James smiled gently, pushing his glasses up his nose.
“There is someone else who has been eager to talk to you…” James said.
Sirius frowned a little.
“You haven’t seen each other for a while,” James gave as answer, “but I promise it’ll be worth it.” he smiled again.
Then Lily gently got hold of James’ hand, leading him towards the backdoor they had come from. Before she walked in, she turned around. So did James.
Then Lily slowly extended a hand towards Sirius too. Sirius slowly inhaled and exhaled. Then he said softly;
“It’s been enough.”
He took a few steps forward and then, very slowly, but very aware of the consequences, closed his hand around Lily’s. She gently squeezed it, as both she and James answered the nod Sirius gave with a smile that brought long lost happiness back into his heart.
“It’s time to put that charming smile back onto your face.” Lily said.
And with not another word said, they stepped through the door.
A warmth overtook them and in silence they were embraced by an immense flash of intense, white light.

21-08-‘07